God Didn’t Save Me to Erase Me!

For years, I slowly taught myself not to believe in who I truly was.

It’s true that plenty of people were eager to take from me—to drain my oil—but the deeper truth is, I allowed them to. By refusing to keep the promises I’d made to myself—the same promises that once fueled my confidence and sense of identity—I partnered with their taking.

I rarely allowed myself to fully celebrate the pride I should have felt in my victories, even though I’d earned every bit of it. Instead, I lived under the constant stares—looks that I often interpreted as the silent question: “Who does she think she is?”

So, I began to doubt my own truth. Eventually, I convinced myself that the real me was somehow a lie.

I often tried to defend my confidence by saying it came from God—and it absolutely did. Still the reality was, I never fully surrendered to allowing His truth of me—the real truth of me—to define my identity, because it didn’t “feel” like I thought it would.

Honestly, though it has taken on a different face, it is still rejection. Unfortunately, instead of confronting the rejection, retaliation, and the fear of being misunderstood, I built a false barrier of humility around myself. And that false humility has cost me my audacity to stand flat-footed in the truth of who I know I really am.

Seasons of exhaustion and heartbreak have brought me to my knees. And now, once again, I’m standing at a crossroads, facing a question that won’t leave me alone:

Will you keep playing it safe and spiraling into a version of yourself that no longer reflects the truth? Or will you step forward, even if it means standing out, triggering others’ insecurities, and risking rejection?

I’ve spent too much time stuck between those two choices. Enough of that.

Lately, it’s become heartbreakingly clear how common it is—for both new and seasoned Christians—to abandon the authenticity of their God-given personalities in the name of being “made new.” I grieve for them, because I know firsthand how dangerous legalism can be.

So many are genuinely trying to honor God, but they start striving for a standard modeled by those who’ve spent a lifetime growing deep roots in faith. They forget that God doesn’t just want the “finished product.” He delights in using the in-process version of us as living proof of His glory and redemptive power.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: God never intended salvation to erase our personalities. He crafted each of us with unique quirks, humor, passions, and strengths. Those are the very tools He wants to use to reveal Himself to the world.

Spiritual growth doesn’t make us less ourselves—it makes us the truest, most redeemed version of who He created us to be.

God didn’t save us to erase us. He saved us to reveal Himself through us.

My prayer is this:

Lord, help me surrender anything in me that doesn’t reflect You—but also help me boldly embrace the unique person You created me to be. Let my personality shine, not for my glory, but for Yours.