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Based on both the inventory I’ve taken of my own life and the countless hours of conversations I’ve had with both men and women from various backgrounds, I’m pretty certain that much of our emotional development, or lack thereof, can be traced back to a specific period in our lives: childhood. I believe that in many cases, those who are emotionally undeveloped or underdeveloped experienced significant trauma as children. If left unhealed, this trauma becomes the guidepost or filtration system by which future relationships are gauged.
For example, when I was around 8 years old, I received a bad report card. I was taken to my grandmother’s house and ordered to pick seven switches from a tree. The switches I picked did not meet expectations, so I was taken back to the tree, and each switch had to be approved. Shortly thereafter, I was ushered into the bathroom and whipped with each of those switches. The whipping wasn’t even the worst part! Just outside the door, a few older relatives could have come to my rescue, but no one did.
From that day forth, I believed with all my heart that no one would ever come to my rescue. Subsequently, I found myself saying "yes" to things I really wanted to say “no” to. Sadly, not only did the situation cause me to believe that no one would ever come to my rescue, but I also struggled with whether my voice, my truth, and my feelings mattered because when I dared to scream, no one came.
It’s not easy recalling these stories—believe me, it still hurts. In many ways, that very painful experience attempts to haunt me to this day. However, there is a freedom that accompanies speaking my truth.
I remember that before the trauma, I viewed life with wonder. I was assertive, bold, and confident. From age 8 until 30, I was clueless about who I was thus, for most of the past 10 years, I have been endeavoring to heal the little girl inside me who was very unhealthy for a long time.
Today, I am still very much in the process of healing her. However, I am certain that the woman I am today aligns much more closely with the healthy version of who I am meant to be.
Healing hurts! The process breathes life into the pain we bury deep down inside, and it resuscitates feelings many of us have learned to disguise.
REMEMBER ME!: A Children’s Book with a Twist!
This book is my dare to myself to heal those things that tried to break me.
It is my prayer that you would dare yourself too!
Order your copy of REMEMBER ME!: A Children’s Book with a Twist TODAY!!!
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