Strengthened, Not Spared

Tuesday Pause™

I’ve been reading this book (You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly), and she was discussing her struggle with being present during an important moment in her life, and the eventual realization of what that struggle has cost her.

I would like to build on that a little further. The incident I will be referencing is the birth of my husband and I’s last child. Going in, he and I agreed that that moment would be shared between he and I only. However, I remember someone—a person who I was “friends” with at the time, but I am no longer in relationship with—asking if she could be present. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, I was playing both sides, because between my husband and I, I was certain that moment was going to be intimate, yet due to the fact that people-pleasing was very much a deep struggle for me, and I was many years shy of learning just how complete of a sentence “NO” was, I wavered in what I knew to be right and completely collapsed due to caring far too much about how she would handle my decision. At the last minute (I was in the process of being induced), she was invited into that moment—the birth of our last child—the moment I told my husband would only be between he and I. He has never mentioned it, and I forgive myself for my ignorant immaturity, but I have regretted that decision ever since.

The first time I heard that “NO” is a complete sentence was 6 or 7 years ago, and I was listening to Erica Campbell on her morning show. That was such a profound revelation to me. And years later she did it again—this time she stated, “If they don’t ask you to explain your ‘YES,’ they shouldn’t expect you to explain your ‘NO’ either.” Wooooooo, I immediately thought, and how true!? Shortly thereafter, as I typically do, I texted that out to several of the women listed in my phone’s contacts.

Learning to say “NO,” or simply being willing to do what God has called me to do despite it not making sense to anyone else, has been daunting to say the least.

Over the past several months, God has tasked me with something that completely goes against how I typically respond—putting what He has told me to do above how it looks to the outside and even how it feels to me, and boy has this season been something else! I knew there would be several emotions that would come to the surface, but the most surprising of them all was the grief.

This caused me to reflect on how Jesus felt the night before His crucifixion.

“And He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, ‘Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.’ Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” (Luke‬ ‭22‬:‭41‬-‭44‬ ‭NKJV)‬‬

I surmised that although Jesus was probably in deep anguish, grieving what was about to take place and even who was part of fulfilling what God called Him to do, an angel of the Lord visited Him to strengthen Him in the process of obedience; not to give Him a way out.

The same has been true for me. God has not delivered me from what He has called me to; instead, I have been strengthened and limped my way towards learning just how important peace is while in it.

Jesus was NOT relieved of His assignment—He was strengthened in it. Even still, He was FULLY aware of the pressure and pain of what was about to happen, thus He continued agonizing in prayer. However, He was obedient unto death!

The reality of what He was facing/about to face was an impossible situation to manage in His own strength. Without being strengthened in it, He might’ve succumbed to the pressure/pain and never submitted to the process.

I am learning that it is not enough to say “YES” to God; we MUST keep our eyes fixed on Him and in constant communion with Him, because though in our hearts we may desire to please Him, we are finite beings wrapped in sinful flesh, thus lacking within our person—absent the Holy Spirit—what is NEEDED to fulfill God’s call on our lives.

Truth is that obedience will cost you something. It will cost you pride; it will cost you the right to self-depend and/or self-defend, and often that cost will require that you let earthly people down in order to fully obey God.

Submitting to God’s instructions completely is the only way… NOTHING else will do.

So, I want to leave you with this:

God's perfect will is not up for negotiation. Not the parts that feel good, not the parts that make sense to everyone watching, not the parts that cost us nothing; all of it. There is no version of obedience that lets us keep one hand on the wheel.

If God has shown you what He’s asking of you, stop weighing it against what it will cost you to obey, and surrender to what it will cost you not to.

Surrender isn’t a single decision you make once. It’s the daily posture of laying down what you think you understand and trusting that the One who calls you is also the One who will strengthen you in it.

Sis, use what’s in your hands! God isn’t waiting for you to become capable on your own before He moves; He already knows you can’t do this alone. That’s exactly why He wants to partner with you in it, not sit back and watch you struggle to fulfill His will by yourself.

What is God asking you to surrender completely today; not partially, not eventually, but now? Sit with that question. Bring it to Him in prayer. And then obey, even before it makes sense.

Remember, God is not asking for your obedience because you can do it on your own, He wants to partner with you for His glory.